Thursday, August 25, 2005

Point and laugh children, point and laugh
I went to Wal-Mart yesterday with Ernie. I thought it'd be a hoot, because I'd get to ride around on one of those little carts. Mmm, no. no...

I've never experienced that much abject loathing, disdain, and pity in my life. It was as if people were emotionally or psychologically ill-equipped to see a seemingly-healthy adult male ride in a vehicle meant for the elderly and morbidly obese. It got so bad that I looked at Ernie and we noted in unison that people were looking at me like I was retarded! Then we just laughed and laughed...it's funny because it's true.

Here's something I never realized: The buggies at Wal-Mart are huge. I've only seen them with five-foot tall, three hundred and fifty-pound women in them. The electric cart seats are actually quite roomy. The turning radius is also quite impressive. You can spin it on a dime, but you better wear earplugs. It's like driving an electric blender while it's chopping up ice!

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