How much do you love me?
Did you know that if you don't groom a Lab over an entire summer because your ankle is broken, the fur on it's ass clumps? Not from fecal matter, don't be gross. Just from the non-grooming. Fortunately, they make a special "sauce" that you can apply to the clumped fur, sort of like a detangler.
Here's the catch: you will have to stand out in your driveway and massage your dog's ass for five minutes to loosen the fur. Did I mention the area of clumping was on her ass? That wasn't uncomfortable or weird at all.
Labs are also not fond of having garden hose water on a 50 degree day shot in the vicinity of their rectum. They run away very quickly and pull the portable disc golf basket, that you believed would be heavy enough to hold them, onto your head in their hasty retreat.
She rests quietly across the room now on her freshly washed dog pillow, with her newly de-clumped ass fur, without a worry in the world. And I'm still washing my hands every five minutes, trying to get the smell of detangler and dog ass off my hands. That's how much I love you, you bitch.
Did you know that if you don't groom a Lab over an entire summer because your ankle is broken, the fur on it's ass clumps? Not from fecal matter, don't be gross. Just from the non-grooming. Fortunately, they make a special "sauce" that you can apply to the clumped fur, sort of like a detangler. Here's the catch: you will have to stand out in your driveway and massage your dog's ass for five minutes to loosen the fur. Did I mention the area of clumping was on her ass? That wasn't uncomfortable or weird at all.
Labs are also not fond of having garden hose water on a 50 degree day shot in the vicinity of their rectum. They run away very quickly and pull the portable disc golf basket, that you believed would be heavy enough to hold them, onto your head in their hasty retreat.
She rests quietly across the room now on her freshly washed dog pillow, with her newly de-clumped ass fur, without a worry in the world. And I'm still washing my hands every five minutes, trying to get the smell of detangler and dog ass off my hands. That's how much I love you, you bitch.
posted by Shawn Passwaters at
10:25 PM
3 Comments:
ok....stop writing like this was your first time doing this!
you didn't fool me.
I am cellophane in your hands, sknab.
ty Chris. I think I've been waiting for blogs my entire life.
Shawnie - must have the name of this elixer..my own love of my life has mats and the mean groomer constantly wants to shave her down to her skin...U-G-L-Y! Save Ginger!
xxoo
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