The 40, Day One
The Birth Of Moses, Exodus 1:1-10

I've just taken over teaching the youth's leadership study. We just finished the Listening Leader and the Communicating Leader chapters. That type of material pierces the soul. You realize how short you fall, but it's incredibly inspiring.

I've become friends with one of the other leaders in the group who's a high school senior, and just turned eighteen. It's exciting to be around passionate youthfulness. Here's reading on his own and he's questioning his level of commitment to his faith. We were IMing last night and the conversation took a turn and I confessed that I've done tons of leadership studies before and after it's over, you feel that huge sense of accomplishment and while you're busy patting yourself on the back, you throw yourself into spiritual cruise control and coast.

And I realized that's as far as I've ever gotten in my spirituality in fourteen years. And I hate it. I've been patting myself on the back for fourteen years.

I look like a leader, I talk like a leader, but I feel like a youth with two years of study on everyone else. I just have the vocabulary and have read a few more verses that I take with the sentiment of a verse written on a coffee mug. I nod knowingly and walk away slowly. I know where I lack and I feel it pull at me every time I look in their faces. I'm doing NOTHING different in my life different from them. Why should they follow a person who SAYS "do incredible things" when he does nothing more than live a mundane spiritual life himself?!? I wouldn't listen either if I were them.

The topic of the "Next Level" comes up. What's after this? Do we just go back to life and cruise through this existence with the underlying knowledge that we BOTH feel that there's something more to our faith?

We kept bringing up the disciples and their world-changing faith and their acts that almost seemed superheroic. We both love the Star Wars Trilogy, and crazy movies like the Matrix and graphic novels, but I think I understand why we seek those out now. We're both fascinated with the heroic nature of man, but we came to the conclusion that the heroic nature of man lies buried in our faith.

We're both big nerds, so I threw out the Big Challenge: how much do you think a Jedi meditates to attain all his rich, chewy Jedi-ness? Isn't that our faith when you strip away the fluffy cultural aspects, church programs, and softball games?

We are spiritual warriors that dwell in a physical realm. It's Matrix-y in nature. It's all Jedi and deprivation and baring our souls to see what God wants for our lives. Faith can alter what we take for granted as "reality". We can change the world through our faith, but there's a sacrifice of deprivation. He's calling the rich, young rulers out again, in us. Do we let go of our cherished baubles and follow him this time? Yeah, yeah...this time we do.

We want incredible things to happen in our youth group and we want that in our spiritual walk. But we know that we have to do something incredible to make that happen. My fellow padawan's major realization is that no one teaches or leads you to that next level of Jedi-Delicious Faith. I'd never thought of that aspect. Then, I reasoned, if no one's going to teach you, then we need to step out and lead ourselves. We're leaders, we have no excuses. It's not like we don't know scripturally what to do. You don't need someone's permission to fast and pray and cast off the unecessary crap that inundates our lives.

He's going to buy a journal. I'm going to blog. I have chosen to relinquish music, solid foods, movies, and caffeine for the next forty days. I want something BIG in this youth group, and something LIFE-ALTERING in my life. I believe this will be it. Please pray for me in this time, as I will for you.

"Do, or do not. There is no try." -Yoda