Snake Oil
It's called DHT (Dihydrotestosterone). It's a form of male testosterone. A bad kind. Stupid bad testosterone. It goes to the scalp and weakens and eventually kills the hair follicles. It happens at a certain time in most men's life and diet, stress, health, and age are all contributing factors. Dear Lord, I'm batting a thousand on all of those factors and Ta-daaaaa...hair falling out of my head by the handfuls. That's what I need at this point in my life: to be The Old, Fat, Creepy Friggin' Doll Hair Guy. Mmmm...and the confidence just continues to launch itself into the atmosphere.

Then came the hours of research. Okay, "hour" of research. I am such a lazy bastard, even when my hair is at stake. I loathe me. Anywho's, went to GNC. She had nothing, but her son used something he got from Eckerd Drugs. Huh. Eckerd Drugs? Sure what the hell. They actually have a pill called DHT Blocker. Can't get any more obvious than that. And a snake oil called NuHair Growth that I RUB ON MY HEAD. What is this, the 1920's? Yeah, I bought it. And I rubbed. And took the pills religiously.

Four months later, my hair is back. I still keep it short, but up until last week, it was 107 degrees, so it was working for me. Ernie likes it, the clients don't care, and the old bald guy I play tennis with is appalled at how a young man with hair can cut it off. He thinks I have hair. That's sweet of him. And still, I rub. Love that snake oil.