The Frog and The Crazy Extremist Scorpion.
A crazy extremist scorpion walks up to the edge of a pond and sees a frog sitting on the bank. The crazy extremist scorpion asks the frog to give him a ride to the other side of the pond. "No," says the frog, "you'll sting me and we'll both drown." That's silly LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA," said the crazy extremist scorpion, "I would never do that! I want everyone to understand that we scorpions are as peaceful as everyone else LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!"

"Really, I gotta go." said the frog. "You besmirch my honor!" the crazy extremist scorpion said as he grabbed the frog, took out a kitchen knife, and cut off the frog's head.

"Every day on television we are barraged by stories of a 'Muslim extremist, militant, terrorist, or insurgent,' but the stories that are missing are the countless stories of Muslim tolerance, progress, diversity, service, and excellence that Bridges TV hopes to tell." -Muzzammi Hassan,
Founder, Bridges TV

Muzzammi Hassan founded Bridges TV Network to show America that Islam is a peaceful religion and that the average garden-variety Muslim is radically different from those who carried out the September 11 attacks. Muzz had talk shows, soap operas, and even cartoons to help the winning of the hearts and minds of the silly infidel dogs.

Muzz's attempt at concealing the Crazy worked right up until about February 6, when his wife served him with a restraining order and had him kicked out of their home.

"You have besmirched my honor!"

On February 12, police were called to the Bridges Network by Muzz. His wife's head had somehow detached itself from her body. Muzz has since confessed and has been charged with second-degree murder.

"...the stories that are missing are the countless stories of Muslim tolerance, progress, diversity, service and excellence."

I'm going with: "BECAUSE THERE AREN'T ANY."